Black Eye Gravy (Easy Version)

As good as Red Eye Gravy is, and as essential as it is for Southern style Grits, some people can't eat it. Grease isn't tolerated by everybody, particularly in California. So, we have an alternative.

• A pot of Black Bean Soup.
• Coffee.

1. Take a pot of Black Bean Soup, drain it in a strainer, set the beans aside.
2. Pour the strained juice into a frying pan, heat it and let it simmer.
3. Add coffee, let it simmer some more.
4. Pour over yer grits.

Red Eye Gravy (Easy Version)

After an evening of St Patricks dinner, there's corned beef fat, to be had. And always leftover coffee.

• Corned beef fat.
• Coffee.

1. Heat a chunk of fat in a pan - maybe a minute or two in the microwave, until it turns to liquid (aka grease).
2. Add coffee to taste.
3. Some recipes call for added salt, pepper, and / or sugar, when you use bacon or ham. With corned beef, that's your choice. I didn't add anything.
4. Simmer a few seconds.
5. Pour over grits.
6. Yer done. Grits are healthy. Red eye gravy ain't healthy. If y'all want healthy, try black eye gravy.

Grits (Easy Version)

No self respectin' Southerner uses instant grits. I take pride in my grits.

Maury Chaykin, My Cousin Vinnie

I take pride in my grits, too, but in California, instant grits may be the only choice. You can still cook them southern style - slow and easy.

This is one large serving (says 2 servings on the package, but that's California).

• 1 1/2 C water.
• 5 heaping T (1/3 C) grits.
• Salt and pepper.

1. Put water in microwaveable pan.
2. Add salt and pepper.
3. Add grits.
4. Cook in microwave oven - 6 minutes @ 100%, 14 minutes @ 30%.
5. Remove from oven, stir, scoop onto plate (southern style, you eat with a fork).
6. Add black eye gravy or red eye gravy (or butter if you're in a hurry).

Grits are healthy - neither red eye gravy (aka grease and coffee) - nor butter (aka grease) is. But boy, is it good.