Chuck's Kick In The Seat of Your Pants Chili **

Kick In The Seat of Your Pants Chili is great during cold weather - to warm you up, and during warm weather - to cool you down. It's real tasty with San Francisco style sourdough bread.


(**) Follow Safety Precautions when you cook this, please.

• 1 T olive oil (Optional - see meat cooking variances)
  
• 5 cloves garlic, minced
  
• 1 t ground black pepper
  
• 1/2 t ground brown pepper (aka cumin)
  
• 1/2 t ground cayenne pepper
  
• 1 fresh Habenero pepper, WELL minced (** Follow safety precautions)
  
• 1 Can (6 oz) chopped Jalapeno peppers, drained
  
• 6 fresh Serrano peppers, minced (** Follow safety precautions)
  
• 3 T chili powder
  
• pinch oregano flakes
  
• 2 - 3 T black caraway seeds
  
• 1 yellow onion, chopped
  
• 1 sweet pepper (green or red), chopped
  
• 1 Can black beans
  
• 1 Can brown (pinto) beans
  
• 2 Cans red (kidney) beans
  
• 1 Can white (garbanzo) beans
  
• 1 to 1 1/2 pounds meat or meat substitute - chopped stew beef, ground beef, ground turkey, or tofu - see meat notes)
  
• 28 oz Can chopped tomatoes
  

1. Cook the meat.
   • Cook in a microwave safe bowl or dutch oven. See Meat Cooking Variances.
   • If using ground beef, cook meat, drain well, and set meat aside (per note below), leaving 1/8 C grease in bottom of bowl.
   • If using stew beef or ground turkey, pour olive oil into bottom of bowl.
   
   
2. Chop, mince, and / or drain peppers and garlic.
   
3. Add garlic and 6 quantity of hot pepper, chili powder, oregano, black caraway to bowl.
   
4. Microwave spice mixture 3 - 5 minutes, covered, on 10.
   
5. Wash hands VERY carefully (** 5 minutes of scrubbing with a brush for safety).
   
6. Remove bowl from microwave, uncover (** point bowl away from face - fumes are intense).
   
7. Add chopped onion, sweet pepper on top of spices, cover, microwave 5 minutes on 10.
   
8. Remove bowl from microwave, uncover (** again, point bowl away from face).
   
9. Thoroughly mix onion, sweet pepper, and spices.
   
10. Place meat on top, cook if stew beef or turkey (per note below).
    
11. Add tomatoes, mix well, cover, microwave 5 minutes on 10, then 15 minutes on 3.
    
12. Remove bowl from microwave, uncover, stir mixture thoroughly.
    
13. Drain and rinse beans thoroughly, draining in colander, until water drains clean from colander.
    
14. Add beans to bowl, mix thoroughly, microwave 5 minutes on 10, 30 minutes on 3.
    
15. Remove bowl from microwave, uncover, stir, let cool until comfortable in mouth (** chemical burns from hot peppers is enough).
    
16. Serve with sourdough bread, sour cream, and cold beverages (** creamy or thick like Sobe Liz Blizz, Thai Tea, tomato juice, or unfiltered apple juice), or beer, and lots of that.
    

Meat Cooking Variances:

• Stew Beef (preferred) - cook after cooking spices and vegetables:
  Chop meat into 1/4 or so inch cubes, drain blood / juice off
  Place meat on top of cooked onion / pepper as above, microwave 3 - 6 minutes til brown with slight pink showing.
  
• Chopped beef (lean or normal) - cook before anything else:
  Place beef into plastic colander, place colander in clean glass bowl, cover and microwave for 4 - 8 minutes on 10, until brown and still soft, with grease draining into glass bowl.
  Remove bowl from microwave, uncover, chop cooked beef using wooden spatula or spoon into 1/4 inch chunks, let finish draining into bowl.
  Remove colander from bowl, finish draining colander on newspaper.
  Pour off and discard all but 1/8 Cup or so of grease from bowl.
  Substitute bowl with 1/8 C of grease, for bowl with olive oil (above), and cook hot peppers / spices in this.
  
• Chopped turkey (prefer normal - lean is too dry) - cook after cooking spices and vegetables:
  Place turkey on top of cooked onion / pepper as above, cover, cook until brown and dry (5 minutes or so).
  Remove bowl, uncover, chop turkey with wooden spatula / spoon into 1/4 inch chunks.
  
• Tofu - Wash and rinse tofu, drain, and chop into 1/4" cubes. Saute with 1T oil, 1 t oregano or marjoram, 1 t chili powder, and / or 1 T beef bouillion, until chunks are brown, dry, and leathery. Add with tomatoes.